• Home
  • About
  • Coaching
    • Corporate
    • Marriage + Family
    • Leadership
    • Crisis
  • Podcast
  • Speaking
  • Resources
    • Resources
    • FAH Network
    • Store
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • RSS
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

Famous at Home with Dr. Josh + Christi Straub

Navigating Finances in Marriage

April 21, 2017 By Christi Straub Leave a Comment

Originally posted on LifeWay Women All Access

Last week, my husband Josh and I went to the eye doctor. I wear glasses for driving at night or watching a movie at the theatre, neither of which happen very often these days. (#parentlife) So when I put them on a few weeks ago Josh looked at me and said, “Wow. You need new glasses.”

Somehow, life happened and it had been 15 years since my last eye exam. I’m no fashion designer, but I’m guessing at least 6 fashion cycles have come and gone and my trusty purple spectacles from 2002 have never come back into style. The optician kindly informed us that Josh’s were out of style too. Evidently, ignorance is bliss.

The irony of how uncool we are flows over to our closet as well. Josh and I have slowly begun working out again, and as I prepared to re-enter the intimidating gym, I realized that most of my workout clothes were from college. I paid a lot of money for Lululemon pants and jackets 15 years ago, and I somehow just can’t justify getting new ones, even though the zippers barely close. (#thankskids)

However, our uncoolness has an upside. We paid off Josh’s student loans last year. According to Dave Ramsey, we are officially debt-fee (sans mortgage)! But to be quite honest, we are debt-free because we chose to live the way we did. We made mistakes, but we kept at it.

Money is one of the single biggest reasons marriages fail. According to the Institute for College Access and Success, the typical Millennial carries an average of $29,400 in student loans. Make that times two, and we can assume the average college-educated couple is carrying approximately $60,000 of debt into their marriage. And that’s without any credit card debt or car loans.

Then, add to it our different perspectives on money. We all came into marriage with a suitcase of beliefs and habits about money we picked up from our families and absorbed from the world around us. There’s a good chance your suitcase and your husband’s look different. It is no wonder money brings about stress and arguments.

So how do we get on the same page? Here are some ways we have learned to navigate finances in our marriage:

  1. Form a team.

The pastor who married us, who happens to be Josh’s best friend, gave us some wise advice on finances before we got married. “You’re a team: Team Straub. If you approach your marriage and finances as a team, you’ll stop fighting against each other and start working together.” So when we got married we literally created our financial logins to be “Team Straub.” (Please don’t hack our bank accounts.) It changed how we approach our finances.

  1. Talk about the elephant in the room.

The biggest thing we have learned about money is the importance of talking about it. Arguments come from years of pent up resentment over your spouse’s money habits that you’ve stuffed down. Or maybe you’re the ignorant party who is happily unaware of your current money situation. Leaving one spouse to shoulder the financial management burden makes the “team” feel like an unfair singles match where one spouse is always feeling all the pressure. So talk about it, gently, graciously. If you have more questions than answers, ask them, until you both know where you’re at and where you’re headed. Anything left unattended festers. Consider doing a Bible study together like God Owns It All. This financial study will naturally create a space for conversations about money and lead you and your spouse to deep, meaningful discussions.

  1. Know your money personality. 

Our friends, Scott and Bethany Palmer, developed a tool that can help you discover your money personality. Battles over money often stem from spouses having different tendencies with money. You could be a: saver, spender, risk taker, security seeker, or flyer. Once you know your money personalities, you can take steps to address the issues that turn into arguments.

  1. You don’t have to sacrifice everything, but sacrifice something. 

We love Dave Ramsey’s motto, “Live today like no one else, so you can live tomorrow like no one else.” Living like no one else requires sacrifice. We value adventure over material possessions so we spend money more on trips and memories instead of clothes and stuff. I understand that style and fashion may not be something you’re willing to sacrifice. But, we all have to sacrifice something.

  1. Set goals. 

We encourage you to follow Ramsey’s baby steps. We did a few things backwards, like built an emergency fund before we paid off student loans. But regardless of your goal, make sure to set one and build on it. This begins by setting a budget. Goals in your finances give you something to aim for, and something to celebrate when you achieve them (which is the best part!). Our goals now include investing money for retirement and our kids’ education.

  1. Give generously. 

God rewards a cheerful giver. Sometimes we need to take an honest look at how tightly we’re holding on to our money. Find causes that you and spouse care deeply about, that make you feel like you’re making a difference in the world, together. Nothing will strengthen your team like praying faithfully for and giving cheerfully to the local church and causes you believe in.

Related Posts

  • 10 Helpful Books to Read with Your Fiancé Before Your Wedding Day10 Helpful Books to Read with Your Fiancé Before Your Wedding Day
  • 4 Steps to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage Before You Even Get Engaged4 Steps to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage Before You Even Get Engaged
  • Tired of Kids Who Want, Want, Want? 7 Ways to Raise Generous KidsTired of Kids Who Want, Want, Want? 7 Ways to Raise Generous Kids
  • 192. Cultivating a Healthy Marriage192. Cultivating a Healthy Marriage
  • 190. How 2020 Redefined Your Family190. How 2020 Redefined Your Family

Filed Under: Family, Marriage Tagged With: finances, Giving, Marriage, Money

« #13: Perfectionism, Presence + Raising Kids to be Human with Gabe + Rebekah Lyons
#14: How to Speak to Your Kids and Win Their Heart »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Join The Mailing List

Get new podcast episodes and other free resources delivered straight to your inbox!

Find topics you care about

I’m looking for:

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
One of the best ways to teach kids discipline is t One of the best ways to teach kids discipline is through fasting. It’s important for them to learn that when they fill their lives with stuff, they leave less room for God. Some of this stuff could be the use of unkind words, whining and complaining, devices, TV time, social media, sugary drinks or foods, and more.

In this 5 minute episode, Josh and Christi talk about a recent experience they had fasting as a family. They encourage your family to do the same as they provide helpful ways to do so.

What better time to do this than in the beginning of a new year?!
We all deal with worry at some point in our lives. We all deal with worry at some point in our lives. Whether as a parent you worry about your kids, or you try to help your kids not to worry about something. We want to walk alongside you as you navigate this!

You can either DM us your questions or respond to the questionnaire we have on our current Instagram stories.

We will respond to your questions in an upcoming podcast!
We hope you’ve been enjoying our “Best of” s We hope you’ve been enjoying our “Best of” series! Do you have an annoyance in your marriage that seems to rear its ugly head every now and again? That one issue that seems to block you and your spouse from being on the same team. In-laws. Finances. How you parent your kids. Where you spend the holidays. We all seem to have that one elephant. You know it’s there, but most of the time it’s hibernating in the cold, dark, corner of the basement, out of sight. Yet, every now and again, you feel the elephant coming up the stairs. Your reaction might be to pretend he’s not coming. Or it might be that you see him walk into your living room so you obviously have to talk about him. So you do. You argue about him. You try to find a way to get him back into your basement, out of sight, but you can’t agree on how to do that. 

In this episode, Josh and Christi talk about their own elephant. They also give practical ways to finally address that one issue in your marriage and why talking about it actually takes away its power. For the sake of your marital intimacy, talk about the elephant.
Teach your kids how to empathize with others throu Teach your kids how to empathize with others through Josh and Christi’s book What Am I Feeling?

You can order a copy today on Amazon 🎉
One of the best ways to let go of stress and anxie One of the best ways to let go of stress and anxiety is through physical touch. Unfortunately, due to social distancing, it has been difficult for all of us to release as much oxytocin as we should. In this 5 minute episode, Josh and Christi share the power a 30 second hug with a loved one has on our day.
Yesterday’s acts at the Capitol building were re Yesterday’s acts at the Capitol building were reprehensible, a sobering reminder of the growing divisiveness and distrust in our nation. 

Our first thoughts were how do we explain what’s happening to our kids? How do we respond as a family to the growing division and distrust?

As citizens of heaven, we were taught to pray, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” This is a prayer we pray with our children literally every single night—instilling in them allegiance to honor first and foremost the King of Kings and to live for Him.

We can’t be naïve though. We also live on the earth. 

At Famous at Home, we have friends and listeners from all over the world of varying political stances, beliefs, and persuasions. And we wouldn’t want it any other way. Those differing vantage points should make us stronger, not weaker. Unify us, not divide us. 

This can only happen though when we’re willing to “…be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. For human anger does not bring about God’s righteousness” (James 1:19-20, CSB).

 Keep in mind it was Jesus who told us to “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness” (Matt. 6:33, NIV). 

However, His righteousness is the way of peace, not breaking federal laws. Jesus preaches, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matt. 5:9, NIV). Later, James writes, “Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness” (3:18, NIV). Jesus was killed having broken no governmental laws, only Pharisaical ones.

We believe the way forward for our kids and our families is to first look inward and upward. That always begins in prayer. This should be the case no matter who’s the president of your respective country, or what political party is in control. 

Second, seek to live righteous before the Lord. Righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne (Psalm 97:2). Let’s watch what we say about other people and how we act toward them, allowing peace to guide us.

Third, evaluate the fruit of your political stance. 

Our kids watch us more than the news!
Welcome back to our “Best of” series! Social Welcome back to our “Best of” series! 

Social distancing has given the Straubs a chance to really focus on the atmosphere of their home, both emotionally and spiritually. It’s made them a little more intentional, but also has brought a lot more fun to their home as well. 

In this episode, Josh and Christi talk about the practices they’ve been implementing in their home to cultivate their kids’ hearts and foster a healthy spiritual environment as a family.

Here are some highlights:

	1.	The misperception that spiritual growth begins with instruction
	2.	Why the spiritual environment of our home rises and falls of modeling
	3.	The transmitting power of relational warmth
	4.	How listening and asking questions of our kids influences the environment
	5.	Why worship changes the atmosphere of your home
	6.	The ways we teach our kids to listen to God’s voice
	7.	Why we need to take prayer seriously and be the spiritual covering for our kids

Copyright © 2021 - Terms & Conditions - Privacy Policy - Joshua Straub