Welcome back to the Mom Set Free online Bible study! I’m so glad you’ve joined me again this week as we continue our study. This week, we studied how to find freedom from the pressure to be enough. I hope you were encouraged and already taking in a big sigh of relief from the pressures you face as a mom. I can’t wait to hear what you’re learning!
If you have any questions about how this study works, I’ve answered most of them here. Have more questions not answered there? Check out the Online Bible Study FAQs.
As a reminder, the videos will be up until July 31, 2018. After that, you can purchase or rent video sessions here.
Did you miss the first session? Don’t worry! Click here for Session 1.
Before we jump into Session 2, I’d love to hear more about what you learned during Week 1: Freedom From The Pressure To Be Enough in your Bible study book. Answer one or both of these questions in your group or in the comments below!
- What causes you to rely on yourself rather than on God? What is typically the result of that? (page 12)
- What are some ways your life can demonstrate to your children that you are deeply grateful for how God’s grace is sufficient for you? (page 30)
After watching the video, answer one or more of these questions in your group or in the comments below to participate in the discussion with our friends around the world!
Question 1….I feel I sometimes I don’t have time to wait on God and I just do things on my own and that usually doesn’t end up the way I thought it would. So it is hard for me to rely on His timing and not my own.
Hi Amy, we know exactly what you mean! Sometimes waiting is the hardest part, but we know that He always keeps His promises and that His timing is perfect.
I know what you mean. We have been waiting for God on a bigger house now for 11 years. We find one & then it is sold or we don’t have money to move. We have four grandchildren with age gaps, so they all need their own room.
1. Out of habit I sometimes do things on my own. But when I stop and give it to God, it’s always so much better than what I could do. 2. When I tell my children how grateful I am for God’s grace. When they see me praying, studying and reading the Bible they will know. Actions and words.
Lori, you’re so right! “When they see me praying, studying and reading the Bible they will know. Actions and words.” love this!
Anne, same boat here!!! I mean, exactly! 4 kids, 10 1/2 years in a cramped house. It is really hard waiting on God. I sometimes wish God would drop Joanna Gaines in on my doorstep and say, “Oh, I’d love to fix up your house!” (and add on a room or two!)
Being content in my house circumstances is hard…and I feel like it affects the family-whether or not we can have people over…the messiness because there is no room…
Yet, I know that being content in any circumstance is what God wants for me for now. He will provide when He thinks it is time. And God is enough–for me to be a mom–for me to be patient in this house–for our family to be happy, in this house, and in the circumstance we are in now, not my dream for “later on.” keeping my mind fixed on Him…not on HGTV!!
Yes!!! “keeping my mind fixed on Him…not on HGTV”! Love it.
It is a habit- but when I pray to God – he has a better way for me and some times you have to wait for me because his time is never late or early – it is the PERFECT Time😊😊😊
Gia, so so true! We are blessed by your words today. He is never late!
Stress causes me to rely on myself rather than God. The result is that I never measure up to my own or anyone else’s standard for my performance, and life becomes performance or works-based rather than faith and grace-based. When I rely on my own ability, I no longer lean into Jesus for the strength to get through the tough stuff. I no longer see the need for his strength when I’m at the end of my rope. And ultimately I no longer give him the praise he deserves for all the provision and care he possesses in lovingly walking with me through this tumultuous life.
I can remind my children of God’s grace and that it is sufficient for me, by praying and turning to Scripture rather than trying to troubleshoot my way through life on my own. I can model for them the reliance I have on Jesus, and the way the Holy Spirit guides me through life and teach them that God’s sufficiency makes up for all my lacking. The beauty of God’s grace is that it shines brighter in light of my failure to measure up. Even my own sin shows the perfection of God and provides a means for me to appreciate him more, if I allow it to do so.
Thank you so much for sharing, Rosalie. Love this: “The beauty of God’s grace is that it shines brighter in light of my failure to measure up. Even my own sin shows the perfection of God and provides a means for me to appreciate him more.”
Yes, Rosalie! Why is it that stress seems to drown our all that we “know” to be true about God? As the pressure drives us to just try harder on our own, because we must have a better handle on it? And yet I see myself play this out time and again.
To Rosalie,
I absolutely feel the same way you do, your words are describing my life right now. Although my child is only 2 months old, I’m trying to make it a habit of praying and reading scripture to form a habit he will eventually follow. I appreciate your honesty because it gives me strength and encouragement.
It is so hard to wait upon God. To rely on Him and to trust Him, is my lacking with my kids, family and work. How it hurts to know, those were all my downfall, the guilt, the pressure…. Pray that I can trust God in His timing and not mine.
We are praying for you, Bethany! It’s our hope and prayer that you can trust God and His perfect timing. He is never late! But you should know that you are not alone in this. We’re in this together.
Oh the waiting…I think that’s where so many of us trip ourselves up. And heap on the anxiety we never needed to carry. As if our worrying, fretting and straining hurries things to completion. Right there with you, Bethany.
1) I get ahead of myself and I like to feel in control. I try to do things how I think it works best. I usually end up feeling discouraged and burned out. Then I realize that I was only allowing God to do 20% and I was taking on 80% I most always humbled.
2) My kids get to see grace through my moments of prayer at night or when I pray with their daddy in the morning.
Thank you so much for sharing, Jessica. We are right there with you. How beautiful it is that your kids get to see their momma go to God in prayer every day! Small moments like that can make such a lasting impact.
“My kids get to see grace through my moments of prayer or when I pray with their daddy in the morning” Beautiful!
I read your comment and was floored by “I was only allowing God to do 20%”… How true is that?! How often do we get in God’s way? We only ALLOW Him to do 20% of what He is on the throne to do. Seriously, that stopped me in my tracks. How truly humbling. WHAT IF we took our place as daughters who LET the Father reign? WHAT IF we stopped trying to take away His authority and dominion? Whew…that changes my whole thought process. We’re certainly not “helping” God do His job any better when we try to take over…and yet He gives us enough authority to say no to His provision…what a gentleman, what a Father.
Truly, thanks for sharing Jessica.
Q1: Like so many responses, I often feel like I’m not seeing results soon enough. Honestly, I forget to trust God, especially with my kids. I also feel the pressure to have an answer, a solution for whatever my kids are going through. So I rely on myself to provide that answer to get my kids through whatever it is quickly and safely.
Q2: I try to apologize when I mess up and ask forgiveness. I also try to verbalize that I forgive my kids when they come to me after messing up. Just recently, I started letting my kids know what it is I’m praying for them that day. If it’s that they will grow to trust God, I share a verse and tell them that I prayed that for them. My desire is that they will see me fighting for them on my knees and trusting God with their lives. I guess I feel like the more they hear of me relying on God, the more they will recognize that my hope is truly in Him.
What a beautiful thing that you are sharing your specific prayers and verses you are praying WITH your kids! That is a powerful demonstration for your kids to see and feel and hopefully emulate themselves!
Not seeing results soon enough. YES. WHY do we struggle so much with expediency? As if the faster we plow through life and problems the better? Or maybe in reality it just means the quicker we get to the next one? Oh Father, help us trust your timing.
Thanks for your honesty, Amber.
What a great idea to let your kids know what are you praying for them each day. I think I’ll do that myself. Thanks!
1) i feel like sometimes God is absent and i cant talk to him because i am failing him
me too – know that you are not alone! Reminds me of the story of footprints in the sand – but seems there has been only one set of prints for years now
I think that when my children see me reading and studying the Bible, praying on my own and teaching them to pray, it shows them my love and gratitude for the Lord. As they get older, I’d love to encorporate our gratitudes at the dinner table as well. I think it’s important for them to see their mom in a deep, committed relationship with the Lord, just as we try to show them between mom and dad.
“I think it’s important for them to see their mom in a deep, committed relationship with the Lord, just as we try to show them between mom and dad.” — yes!!!
I am a Type A personality. I usually think I can do it alone. I sometimes forget that God needs to be first. And when I do forget, the results are less than stellar.
One of the ways I can demonstrate how grateful I am for God’s grace is to pray with her about how good He is and how much grace he has given me. Also, to give her grace in certain situations.
“One of the ways I can demonstrate how grateful I am for God’s grace is to pray with her about how good He is and how much grace he has given me. Also, to give her grace in certain situations.” — love this so much!
Anxiety & self-reliance derail my God-focus with motherhood & parenting. But the Holy Spirit gently reminds me to get back on track daily.
I love to read scripture & sing praise songs to saturate our lives with joy to combat the spiritual warfare for my kid’s souls! It’s such a battle.
“I love to read scripture & sing praise songs to saturate our lives with joy to combat the spiritual warfare for my kid’s souls! It’s such a battle” — Wow. This is powerful!
I rely on myself rather than on God because of my unbelief. I know God CAN do anything, but WILL he do it for me? This results in exhaustion, physically and mentally.
I demonstrate to my children that I am deeply grateful for God’s grace by allowing my children to see me in God’s word (most) mornings, praying with them, singing praise songs in the car together and discussing how God helps me and can help them when things arise in our daily life.
Melody, thank you so much for your honesty and openness. You definitely aren’t alone. Most of us mommas here probably struggle with unbelief in some way. But how amazing it is that you demonstrate faith to your kids! Keep it up!
Melody, these are such great ways for your kids to see your faith!
Its the first thing I do is just act rather than waiting on the Lord, but I don’t really know what that looks like in parenting. How do I actively wait on God? How do I practically trust and wait within the chaos?
My son is 2 months old, although little, and although I struggle with trust, I pray Gods word over his life and speak them to him.
Andrea, these are such great questions! It’s our prayer that God gives you answers throughout this Bible study and that you see the fruit of your faith in your son’s life.
I constantly feel like I have to DO something, as if waiting on God equates to laziness on my part. In reality, I know that is not truth, but relinquishing that control that I THINK I have is difficult.
1. It’s humbling to admit on paper, but my lack of trust in others (including God) and my poor attempts at self-sufficiency are what tempt me to rely on myself rather than God. The results are usually disappointing…although I know deep down Gods is good and in control, it is a battle everyday for me to fight against my pride and surrender to Him instead of trying to do things my own way.
2. My life can reflect God’s sufficiency in the small, yet significant ways like if I practice gratitude and generosity towards God and others.
Ashley, thank you so much for sharing and for your openness. We join you in that everyday battle against pride! It’s our prayer that you find freedom in God’s sufficiency.
Living in our country you can directly see the results of the motto: “hard work pays off.” While true in the business sector, this addage doesn’t translate to our faith in the Almighty God. Growing up in a very conservative church I absorbed the idea (I don’t think it was explicitly taught, but rather, I read between the lines and concluded) that my faith and admission ticket into Heaven must be earned. I have to constantly be doing good-works in order to stay in God’s favor. Hard work pays off, right?! I (attempted) to live and parent like this for many years, but exhaustion and the mindset of “I’m not enough” set in like a heavy weight.
Enter GRACE.
The grace that has been there this whole time! The unmerited favor of God I will receive completely unrelated to how much I work or how little, but simply because I am a daughter of the King, and what a good King he is. My theme song for the year has become “Death Was Arrested” by North Point InsideOut. I’m trying to let this become my new mindset, “Oh, your grace so free/Washes over me/You have made me new/Now life begins with you.” And what freedom we will gain when this message sinks in fully. I’m starting today, little by little, starting to live this in front of my kids by extending them grace just as our good Father has shown us grace. Spilled cup of milk…grace. Fighting with your sister…grace. Still haven’t put on your shoes after I’ve told you 3 times…..(deep breath) grace. Just as God has shown me grace over and over. It also makes me wonder how many deep breaths I’ve caused him over the years. 😉
Katie, what a beautiful story of grace! Thank you so much for sharing and blessing this community. I’m sure we’ve all caused Him many deep breaths over the years 🙂
Beautiful words. Thank you for sharing this with us Katie!
Thank you SO MUCH for this study. So far, just knowing im not alone in these feelings has been such a relief. I ranked 5s and 4s on my scales. My husband was saying he was a 2. It was then I understood the WHY of my stress. I felt ALONE, in the burden of quality parenting…in my eyes. Now I run to God as my coparent, esp when I feel my husband isn’t performing, lol. God just tells me to relax, he’s got it. I love it! Can’t wait to enjoy week 2 freedom. School is out, now time for mommy recharge
April, thank you so much for being a part of this community! You definitely are not alone! It’s our hope and prayer that all of us mommas can find community together and find a way to recharge through Him.
So glad you are enjoying the study!
1. My kids have seen both sides of my struggle with this. Because there have been times when I’m stressed and I end up doing things my way instead of relying on God or waiting on him. That of course never works out but I have gotten better at this one though.
2. They have seen that now, I’m reading my Bible more, praying more, going to church and asking my sisters in faith to help me when situations seem out of control for me. It takes courage to ask people for help, even God. We have to be humble and ready to accept what God has to offer us. We have to have faith that he will see us through every time.
What a wonderful word, Elizabeth! “It takes courage to ask people for help, even God. We have to be humble and ready to accept what God has to offer us. We have to have faith that he will see us through every time.” So true!
Thank you for being apart of this community!
Q1: I get in my own way and think I can do it on my own-one day will go super great and I’ll think, “I’ve got this!” and then the next day is a complete trainwreck. Parenting is so humbling, it really forces me to look at all of the things that happen each day and realize I really don’t want to do it on my own and can’t, it’s daunting. There is so much freedom in giving it to God and saying “You’ve got this-down to the nitty gritty details” so I don’t have to. Even though I KNOW this, it’s a major struggle so I’m hoping this study will help me with it.
Q2: I love to study the Bible and my kids will sit and color while I do it (they’re littles under 3), my oldest has started praying at the dinner table which has been so fun to teach and watch and we read Bible stories at bedtime. I apologize to them if I have said something and my husband and I are constantly talking about how God is moving in our life-even though they’re young it’s still a part of every day conversation which I hope they will pick up on as they get older.
You are so right, Rachel! Parenting is so humbling and there is so much freedom in giving it to God. It’s our hope and prayer that we fully accept this freedom as mommas. What a beautiful picture of your little ones praying and listening to God conversations!
Hi! I am a “Grammy” who is thoroughly enjoying this study and gaining insight into my own past parenting and current grand-parenting. It is also helping me to connect in a more positive way with my daughter and my teen granddaughter! My greatest reason to rely on myself comes from having been a single Mom for years before remarrying and often feeling “alone”. You learn to self-rely and self trust. I knew God was alwyas there but sometimes with all the responsibility, well He got lost in the shuffle! (Sorry God!) Thank goodness I have brought myself out of that valley! Currently, I would say my lack of Patience! I am such a type A personality … but I am hard at work at that, too, because the results are better when I just breath and “Let God”!
I try to set a good example for my daughter and randdaughter through Church attendance, giving, volunteering, and talking to God!
Welcome, Ruthe, and thank you so much for sharing! You are so very valuable and important in this community. It’s our hope and prayer that no matter what stage of life, we can find freedom in relying less on ourselves and more on God.
Hi Ruthe! We are so glad you are here. What a lucky to family to have a grammy pursuing Christ the way you are!
After taking some time to think about why I rely more on myself than God, the Lord revealed to me some control issues. I’m the type of person that sees something that needs to be done and then I make a plan and get it done as quickly as possible so I can move on to the next task. Because I am so task orientated I seldom find myself “being still” and waiting for God’s guiding and directing. This has definitely carried over to my parenting. Even though my two girls are under 3, I can see areas where I am trying to accomplish things in their lives that only God can accomplish. I need to step back, let go and let God do his working. I Need to remember that it is God that causes “growth” I am the one who “plants and waters.” This was all an eye opener for me. I’m praying that God will continue to reveal to me where I am not relying on Him but on me. I’m praying that I will rely on God for my parenting.
Thank you so much for sharing, Julie! This is such a wonderful reminder: “it is God that causes “growth” I am the one who ‘plants and waters.'”
Thank you for being a part of this community! We’re praying with you!
“I Need to remember that it is God that causes “growth” I am the one who “plants and waters.” YES!!
1. It’s easier to rely on myself rather than God. I am in control that way and I am a bit of a control freak. It always winds up leaving me exhausted, anxious and feeling alone. Also it results in more chaos and feelings of failure. My husband doesn’t help out a lot so I feel I am a single mom quite a bit and it gets to be to much. Now after having my third son and doing this study I need to rely on God in my parenting and He will get me through.
2. Some ways I try to demonstrate to my boys how deeply grateful I am for Gods grace is by going to church and taking them with us where they go in there preschool classes and learn all about God. I also have them in a church school so they learn there as well. I love talking with them about God and Jesus and my 4 year old asks me tons of questions and it melts my heart and makes me feel so proud. Praying and studying Gods word is my closest avenue to be grateful for Gods grace in my parenting and for myself.
Hi Marissa, thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of this community. You definitely aren’t alone in your struggles! We are praying for you!
Marissa, so glad you are here! Praying for God to move not only in your life, but also in your husband’s life!
I rely upon my self for a number of reasons that I realize after going through the comments are so similar to so many who have already responded. Thank you all for sharing! Primarily I reply upon myself in those times when I feel like God has forsaken me and left me to fend for myself. In my head I know he is always there for me but in my heart I feel very alone and afraid.
I can demonstrate how deeply grateful I am for God’s grace by first believing that i have it – and then praying with my son and expressing how deeply grateful I am for his grace.
Hey Roberta, thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of this community! We’re so glad you’re here. It’s our prayer that He provides you a peace that surpasses all understanding!
I’d say for #2, apologizing to my children. I try to always apologize when I mess up or even if I just misunderstand something. I hope they see God’s grace in that.
I love this! I wasn’t raised in a family that did apologies. When I met my husband, he has a huge problem with the fact that anytime we got into a disagreement, or I was wrong about something, I didn’t automatically apologize for it. Because it was such a pain point for him, I have tried to get better at doing this myself, and especially with my kids. I can almost instantly feel the burden be lifted when I have apologized.
So, I’m waaaay late to this week’s video, but that’s ok. It’s the beauty of why I signed up for this online study in the first place. I’m just grateful for the flexibility of this study. Now down to the questions, What causes me to rely on myself rather than God is trying to have a semblance of control when life happens. The typical result of that is that I lose the supposed control that I thought I had and things just fall to pieces. I need to repeat “Let go and let God” and actually follow through with that. Some ways my life can demonstrate to my children that I am deeply grateful for how God’s grace is sufficient for me is by thanking God out loud in front of my children for all that I do have and praying for things that I need help with for myself or for others.
What causes you to rely on yourself rather than on God? What is typically the result of that? Ego maybe…I feel like I am the mom to do and handle it all so why call on God to help out. It seems that relying on God shows weakness and that is a a trait I work so hard to avoid. It usually ends in tears and frustration from not being able to maintain the load.
What are some ways your life can demonstrate to your children that you are deeply grateful for how God’s grace is sufficient for you? Admit the weakness to God and my children and show them through prayer that calling on God is enough. Take the step to lead by a new example.
“Admit the weakness to God and my children and show them through prayer that calling on God is enough.” Yes!!!
A1: I have a lot of “mom-guilt” and try too hard, sometimes, to “make up for what I lack” as a mother instead of relying on God’s grace to be enough.
A2: Since the beginning of April, I made an intentional choice to stop raising my voice (aka yelling) and to be more gentle with my boys. My pain was causing ME to be the grumpy one and it showed up in the way I acted with the kids. Since doing this, there has been less tension and more happiness around our house. When I allow God to control my parenting instead of myself, JOY is the result.
Wow. This is so awesome, Janet! Thanks for sharing.
Q1: I tend to be lazy with prayer, and therefore lazy at asking God for help. Sometimes I think that my problems are too minor for God to deal with, so I should try to handle them.
Q2: I pray with both daughters every night. Through every prayer I always start with thanking him for what he has given us. I hope that my prayers coupled with other actions that honor God allows them to see that God is enough for me.
1) Typically the immediacy of kids’ needs/time cause me to rely on myself rather than God. This usually leaves me feeling exhausted.
2) Some ways I can demonstrate that God is sufficient for me – regular prayer time/reading of God’s word. Also, I think just admitting weaknesses and talking about struggles with the kids (that are age appropriate) can help them to see that we as parents can’t do it all on our own – we need God’s grace.