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We love getting your questions and discussing the topics dear to your heart. In this week’s episode, we discuss the following topics and questions:
- Kids should be allowed to feel anger, but should we allow our kids to stomp off in their anger? It feels like such a fine line to walk.
- When our children don’t transition well, or don’t want to transition well, from one activity or event to another, what do I do?
- As a single mom, how do I compensate for my children not having a father?
- I’m emotionally safe for my kids, but my husband is not. Are there extra things I can do?
- I’m a foster mom and our kids are transitioning back to their parents. How can I prepare them?
The Questions:
I have a 4-year-old little girl and 1-year-old twins. I can’t wait to get your feelings book. Something you guys mentioned in your Kids Who Can Empathize episode was that we should allow our kids to feel that anger. I think you mentioned allowing your kids to stomp. This may be a ridiculous question, but is stomping always acceptable? My daughter got upset that I didn’t give her way about something and she stomped off to her room. Is this considered disrespectful? Or should it be allowed because she’s expressing I upset her by not giving her what she wanted? I feel like it’s a fine line. How do we teach them when it’s acceptable? –Jourdan
My husband and I have two boys three and six. My husband is transitioning into a new career which has led him yet again to a new schedule. I own a business and work full-time. Our children attend to a private Christian school and are surrounded by a wonderful tribe. My question is an ongoing issue of our eldest son. He is full of life and energy as little boy should be. We struggle with listening and follow through. He does not like transitions at all. He will do anything he can to make sure that we are late. We have tried rewards. We have tried talking about respect and loving. I know that this issue hits a trigger for me because as a child my mother was always late and therefore as an adult I am always early. Each day throughout the day it is a struggle getting up transitioning to breakfast transitioning to backpacks transitioning to getting dressed or getting out the door. Even leaving school we have to go and say goodbye to all of the teachers. And then, when we get home, transitioning into the next thing. I’m not sure where he is coming from and in our conversations his answer is I just want to play mommy. We spent most of our time at home cooking together, doing Legos together, or art, or whatever they want to do. I am a hands-on mother who just wants to help my kiddo. This one just hits the right spot since it affects everyone in the family as well as others around us. –Kristin
I just listened to the two podcasts on raising boys and girls, by David Thomas and Sissy Goff, respectively. They were really insightful and helpful for me, especially the one with David regarding boys. I know the father’s role was mentioned in those podcasts, and I wondered if they, or you, have any advice for single parents. I am a single mom, and my kids’ father is not involved. They haven’t even seen him in four years. I have a son, 7 and a daughter, 4. I so appreciated the podcasts and even bought the book by David Thomas but honestly, I am feeling so overwhelmed and kind of anxious right now. Any special words for single parents? –Jenn
You talk about how emotional safety of parents is the key of raising children. I couldn’t agree more and am so willing to change things in my life to become more emotionally safe. I’m ordering your book Safe House today. My husband however, is always present, but not always emotionally safe. He is very old school when it comes to parenting and basically parents just the way his father did. In this environment, children do not have a say in things and are encouraged to go play and not be involved in grownup conversations. My question is about the effect it has on children, particularly boys, when only one parent is working on this and not the other. Are there extra things I can do as a mom? –Natalya
I’m a first-time (foster) mom to 2 wonderful and resilient boys. We’ve had them for 10 months and I am in love. At 3 years and 18 months, they are amazing little individuals! Recently, we’ve learned that their foster plan calls for reintegration back with their birth parents in the next 2 months. While my heart is broken at the thought of saying goodbye to them, I want to help make this transition as smooth and healthy for them as possible. I would welcome your advise on how to prepare them, as well as tips/examples on how to open up dialogue on such a big issue when they are still so small. (BTW, thank you so much for sharing your experiences from the “survival years.” I cannot express how much it has helped me. I watched for years as women around me seemed to effortlessly take to motherhood–and yet the transition season when we welcomed the boys was so so hard. I thought perhaps because there was such a struggle that maybe I was bad at being a mom. Hearing the term “survival years” was so impactful to me. It let me know that i wasn’t alone and that struggling was ok.) –Shiyrah
Show Notes:
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I am a single mother, so I really loved your tip about the pictures. I also wanted to share for the mother something I read on another blog. If we can think of God as our co parent, then we are never truly parenting alone.
Great insight. Thank you!