by Christi Straub
The first thing I reach for the in morning. The last thing I say goodnight to before bed. Always within arms reach. If not, I search until I find it. How could I live without it? Present in all my moments—the stressful, the memorable, the mundane. An ever-constant presence. Dulling the pain, lulling my anxious heart, entertaining my brain, bringing brief happiness. Another alert, another scroll through a newsfeed, another email check, another “urgent” request for my attention.
My iPhone.
When I found out we were pregnant with Kennedy (our second), I was elated; but quickly an odd sense of sadness set in. I realized my days with our first-born were numbered. Where had the time with Landon gone? I felt the pace of life picking up. The baby days were a blur. I mourned the losses I felt.
Did I hold him long enough? Did I watch him sleep, the gentle and beautiful rhythm of his little chest rising and falling? Did I take the time to see his perfectly formed little hands curl around mine as we read books? Did I notice the way his little eyelashes flutter with excitement over blowing bubbles? While he ran through the backyard with every ounce of power his little legs could muster—beaming with pride—did I miss his look over to me silently asking, “Are you proud of me, Momma?”
Sadly, these moments were slipping by, out from under me, as I was consumed by to-do lists and entertained by my devices.
I realized how much I was missing out on life. A precious little life that was real, alive, full, and joyful.
And it was my iPhone’s fault. (Who am I kidding?)
I found myself making dinner off my iPhone, a recipe pinned from Pinterest, while Spotify played in the background, while returning three texts to girlfriends, while scrolling through Instagram one more time—all the while spending “quality time” with my little boy.
Good gracious, what happened to my life?
No wonder the time with our son feels short-lived—it has been. In the name of “connection,” I’m shortening it.
If this is true, I was owned.
Sadly, I see it happening all around me.
We’ve become master multitaskers—in the most unfortunate of ways. It’s literally changed our brains—our ability to settle, to play, to be still. To enjoy and be present in moments and in conversations with people. Especially with our little ones. This epidemic is degrading our relationships, lulling us into screen life and out of real life.
When was the last time I considered the spiritual war raging for my heart and mind?
Another few moments of life wasted. She’s lulled again.
Lulled into apathy. Lulled into amusement. Lulled into entertainment.
Those moments add up –hours, days, weeks, months, years of wasted life. Years of not living real life, something a sly and subtle enemy relishes – because we’re doing nothing to grow. Nothing to change the life of another. Nothing to widen our perspective, harden our hands, or soften our hearts.
We will never get back the time we waste on Pinterest, Facebook, or Instagram. Will you ever look back on your life and wish you’d seen another duck-lipped selfie or another friend’s vacation pictures through the Valencia filter?
Look back at your life this past week and tell me about the moments that mattered. The ones that made you feel real joy, belly laugh, and take a deep breath of thankfulness. The moments you’ll remember ten years from now.
I doubt any of them happened on a screen.
I think our technology-laden generation is desperate to feel, to live, to love—but has been so lulled we know no better way.
We’ve been lulled and duped and amused into a screen life existence.
Our kids are growing up just the same.
I saw it most clearly on a recent trip to Disney World. The most magical place on earth— filled with nonstop entertainment, color, lights, music and make-believe. Yet I was astonished to watch adults and children alike walking around zombie-like staring at their devices.
Apparently Disney World isn’t enough anymore. Constant stimulation, music, texting, sights, sounds, people, noise. Somehow, we need more.
Yet, somewhere deep inside, we know what we really need is less. Much less.
- Less amusement. More musing.
- Less entertainment. More creating.
- Less sitting. More moving.
- Less multitasking. More focus on one thing or better yet, one person.
- Less watching. More reading.
- Less texting. More talking.
- Less screen time. More outdoor time.
- Less comfort. More adventure.
- Less apathy. More passion.
- Less self-centeredness. More serving.
- Less lulling. More living.
- Less of me. More of you, God.
Let us hear from you. What creative ways are you setting limits on the screen?
[email protected] says
Thank you. Great way of pointing out how we are lulled by our phone into a world outside reality.
[email protected] says
Thank you! This was written out of that struggle and pull. I’m grateful it resonated with you.
-Christi
Alcia says
THis was a really good article and something I was discussing earlier today. Thank you so much for the reminder. I continue to tell my family of the importance of being intentional with our relationships. Some years ago I also incorporated no technology birthdays. So on my birthday unless you are taking pictures you can’t use your technical devices 😊
Joshua Straub says
This is a great idea, Alcia!
Aimee K says
I feel your stuggle too even as I homeschool so thank you for this…we have screen free day once a week to connect and interact as a family…no computer, no phones, no tablets, no screens…maybe we need to up it to more times a week…;)
Rewa says
I love this! I ended my relationship with my cellphone on 6/30 (I still have a tablet) and people in my life went crazy. I find myself reading my bible app more and spending time with God. I’m focused on God’s word and how my life needs to change from the inside out. Thanks for validating my feelings.
Joshua Straub says
You’re welcome. It’s a challenge for so many of us!
Caroline says
Thank you for this. This very subject has been on my mind recently. Thank you for reiterating what I already knew I need to do. Of course I reply g on my cellphone.
Sharon Reed says
Enjoyed your article. As a grandparent and retired teacher, hope more parents take your lead – see so many parents in restaurants and in stores ignoring their young children because they are on their phones – not only missing interactions with their children but missing teaching moments – spiritual and academic.
Tara Wilburn says
I totally agree with you. In fact, lately I’ve been feeling so “over” social media. I wish I could completely step away from it. I own a small business, though, so I feel I HAVE to stay active on it to keep my business afloat. I feel pressured, in this time we live in, to make sure I’m posting and even corresponding with my followers for the sake of my business. I’d be really interested in finding out if there are any other small businesses who have opted out of the social media method for business perks.
Joshua Straub says
Tara, it is a double-edged sword for sure. We choose to embrace the good of it and do our best to set limits on the parts that don’t have to do with our ministry. Requires ongoing intentional conversations for sure.
John Logan says
I’m drawn to, John, the Baptist, and his relevant quote…” I must decrease, He must increase”.
John Logan
Elizabeth Lynn says
I’m beginning to address this in my life. I’ve used the excuse that since I am older and have trouble getting around sometimes that it was OK. I have been convicted that I need to spend more time in worship, the Word and prayer and less time on my phone and Kindle, unless I’m reading a good book. I’ve also been convicted that I need to listen to Christian music or teaching while I knit (my ministry, not big ,I know, but it does bring joy and help to folks). Your article really reinforced my convictions. Thank you.
Rachel Kemper says
I was actually recently talking and thinking about this. When I move away from people, I have a hard time staying connected. I actually love face-to-face. So when I move away, I rarely communicate through social media. So it seems my friendships slowly fades. I began to see this as a bad thing. And, true, I don’t want my friendships to fade. But I actually talk face-to-face and love it!
God tends to show me that I’m not like others and that’s okay.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Debbie says
Great article! I went on a media fast 4 years ago. Although people, friends and family mostly have negative comments because I’m not connecting with them I tell them they can call me and let’s talk voice to voice. It seems that is not a way anymore to communicate.
Anyway, I love the hours I have gained back in my life. The peace I now enjoy not having some getting so mad because I didn’t text or respond to a post soon enough.
The most important lesson I learned is the Bible studies I have completed and my relationship with God is deeper and growing. It is so nice to not be so controlled by devices and to be able to slow down, see the beauty of God around me.
T Smith says
This is so “de ja vu”… a few years ago… I was at my daughters apartment… and left to run some errands…. When I left… my daughter and one of her friends, were sitting on her couch… one on each end… scrolling through their iphones…. I was shocked when I came back about 4 hrs later… and they were in those exact same spots on their iphones…. I made a comment to them about it that wasn’t nice… but they didn’t move for about 5 or 10 more minutes of iPhone time…. I want to say you are Soooooo right!!!! Maybe there needs to be some kind of “DETOX” for iPhone addiction, created… Our future generations are already in jeopardy from so much public and social media…. & the big “psychological ” heads aren’t saying a word… This added distraction to our lives…. is truly killing relationships and our ability to communicate face to face… I feed it even fuels distance, arguments, and even words people wouldn’t dare reply with face to face… but prayer to OUR FATHER in Heaven… from II CHRONICLES 7:14… has all the answers to all these distractions in our lives… thank you for words that came from my thoughts… many days &many times.
Carrie Meyers says
Such truth spoken in this article. I depend on my phone to tell me what I “must accomplish” every day. If unable to do it all, I feel like I failed somewhere. BUT, with Jesus, who has brought me out of the pit, I’ve become much more relaxed. He has taught me “divine interruption ” I wake up every morning asking Him to lead my day. What a beautiful transformation He has taught me to begin the day with Him then just follow. I still look at my iPhone calender but don’t sttess about it. Sometimes,if you listen,He has other plans. Praise the Lord!!
Marlene Rafferty says
How very subtle–as the writer correctly states–the enemy of our soul is and has been throughout our lives. I am over 60 years old, so by me telling you that, you also know that I grew up without all these electronic devices, which also means that we had actual face-to-face conversations and friendships, most lasting all of our lives. We weren’t “zombies” as the writer states, but we really lived lives and not behind a piece of plastic with artificial intelligence. We went outside to play; we used our imagination.
We forged friendships and we completed our homework without the aid of a computer and NO we did not write letters to the teachers complaining about “Jane” or “John” having too much homework, thereby making them lazy or raising them to think that they are entitled, nor did we enable our children. We also raised our children well: we taught them manners and we taught them to respect others: all the “old-fashioned” things that most people–even adults today–seem to forget or don’t care about anymore.
This is one of the most diabolical plans that Satan has for our “modern” generation: the invention of computers, iPhones, iPads, and the websites for “social” media, albeit none of them are actually “social” but a platform to brag, berate, curse and mock one another, as well as separate households and friends and most importantly, our country on issues that we were never divided over to begin with.
If anyone wants to bother, Google the plot of ridding the earth with us “non-essentials”, meaning those of us in my age bracket and above; we are being classified as not necessary to live on the earth anymore, taking up space, too much carbon footprint, food, air, etc. In other words, we are “obsolete,” to put it mildly.
If you cannot fathom this concept, read C. Peter Wagner’s article about “change agents” and their agenda on how to rid the earth of us. I am writing this as an aside to the above mentioned article, because it ties into the hidden motive of computers and the soon-coming tracking system of every human on this planet. I am NOT writing about conspiracy, but I AM writing about why computers and all these devices have taken over our lives and have been since the early 1980s. While you’re at it, read about Bill Gates as well, who also wants to eliminate most of the population on this earth, so there’s more room for the “intelligent people” to survive (sounds like Hitler, eradicating certain groups for a superior race).
Satan has successfully separated us into individual lives; he wants us all to become robots–unthinking and uncaring robots; it’s part of his master plan for the One World Government and One World Religion–his version of “unity”, a dictatorship wherein we all fall in goosestep under one ruler, easily accomplished by “dumbing down” our intelligence and causing us to accept whatever is popular today as the norm.
Yes, I own a computer, but I can honestly say that I am not a slave to it, nor does it own me. I am on about an hour in the morning (all my doctor’s list their appointments and info on it) and perhaps three hours in the evenings–but not EVERY evening. I have more important things to do with my life, such as being with my husband and with my Saviour and my Bible, studying and praying. God comes first in my life, as He always has and always will and I will not let a machine dictate to me how to live my life.
“Give me twenty minutes with a man and I’ll tell you about his prayer life.” Leonard Ravenhill
I am happy to see someone who is younger than me see the other side of all these electronic devices for what they really are; the insidious side that AT & T, Verizon, T-Mobile, Sprint and all the companies that promote how “great” they are, when in fact they are nothing more than a controlling device that literally takes over your life. Yes, they CAN be for good. I do Bible research and I counsel hundreds of people on the computer, so there is a good side to it, but you have to wonder: with Fiber Optics being able to watch you when you’re watching TV (predicted 45 years ago, when I first became a Christian), don’t you think they’ll be watching you through all these other devices as well?
GG says
I have made a practice of doing my devotions each morning before I do any fb scrolling. I also try to use fb as a means to reach unsaved friends and encourage others.
Cynthia says
Ha! My IPhone 6plus died about 10 days ago. Apple will replace it for $330 – but I’m not home so I don’t know my password. Funny, life does exist apart from the phone AND it forces you to fill those empty spaces. After reading this article, I’m not sure I want my “old” life back. Thanks for this beautiful reminder.
Maxine Gonzalez says
Thank you for pointing this out……..I come from the generation BEFORE cell phones so I find it easy to let it be……..especially on Sundays, the LORD’S day. I love to fast from my phone or laptop on that day and it is so freeing. I am afraid that the enemy has found a way to keep us from each other and to keep our faces glued to screens instead of us interacting with one another. And it makes me very sad this is now the norm. Currently I am considering closing my FB account. If you let the world define you…….it will.
Rewa says
Maxine- I closed my page for 4 years. It is freeing. I got back on in April. I have a timer set to limit my usage (it totally eats up your time-like when internet searching was first introduced). I have been reading the bible, coloring, and listening to gospel music instead.
M C D says
Thank you for this article. Yes, the iPhone has consumed most our relationships ( family, friends, and peers ). After not seeing one of my sisters for more than three years, she visited and spent one month in my home. Of the one month that she was in my home I don’t believe that she spend 3 hours with me. She woke up in the mornings with the iPhone in her hand and went to bed with it in her hand. I was so hurt that one day I told her “you made me feel like I am still here by myself”. Her response was ” I will come and talk with you soon”. When she came to have a conversation with me it was during the time that I was getting ready to leave for work. I live alone and work the 7pm-7am shift. I was off the night before and was home all day and my sister could not take a break from her iPhone to speak with me. I am 60+ years old, I am one of those people who believe that we still deserve some privacy and we don’t have to put everything that is going on in your life on Social Media. When I wake up in the mornings I give God thanks for waking me up and I prayed constantly. I have two small radios set on my two favorite gospel station where I can do my work around the house and listen to the preaching and teaching of the Lord’s word and sometimes even have praise and worship by myself with my radios. For a while I having asking friends and relatives to call me instead of texting because I still would like to talk to people.