#113: Finding and Cultivating Friendships as Grownups

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Finding friends once we have children and become “grownups” isn’t always easy. Especially for families who move quite often. Especially for moms who long to talk to anyone who can tie her shoes. And especially since it takes time and trust to go deep.

This episode came out of one question from our question and discussion episode. Some of the topics we discuss include:

The struggle it is to find friends you connect with
Practical ways to move from acquaintances to friends
The time and vulnerability required to go deep
How to move from authenticity to vulnerability
Christi discusses practical ways for women to find and cultivate friendships with other women
Josh discusses practical ways for men to find and cultivate friendships with other men

Here’s the question that got it all started:

From Jenny: First, I just wanted to say thank you. I am so grateful for you. I found this podcast last week and it has already changed my life. I have two kids, 22 months apart, and my youngest is turning one next month. I love them with all of my heart, but it has definitely been a struggle. I feel like I am just coming out of the cloud of postpartum depression and probably still revert back to those feelings on tough days, but your episode about self-care as a parent was so helpful in that stage of finally being able to breathe again.

One of the biggest pieces of advice I hear when searching for answers to finding time for myself as a mom or for us as a couple “in the trenches” is to find your community, those really good friends that you admire, because it really does take a village to raise a child. And I really want my kids to have that blessing, too. My question is, how do we do that?

I feel like that is often given as a simple answer even though it is so hard to do, especially as an introvert. We serve and are involved in our church, and I try to reach out of my comfort zone at least once a month, but I still have trouble connecting on that deeper level, or on more than an acquaintance basis with people in large group settings. I sometimes say I prefer having one or two good friends versus several acquaintances, but the problem is you have to have acquaintances to have good friends and I just can never seem to make that transition. And taking that to a couple or family level adds even more layers. Do you have any practical tips for finding those people and really connecting?

Show Notes:

To learn more about Eden and Vine Magazine, click here.

To read the article Josh refers to about men and friendships, click here: Today’s Problem with Masculinity Isn’t What You Think, by Ben Sledge

To learn more about Homegrown: Cultivating Kids in the Fruit of the Spirit, click here.